My History with obesity: Part 1

From the get go I was destined to be larger than other babies and ultimately other people. My mother and her poor little A-cup breasts couldn’t keep up with my infantile hunger and ran out of milk after a mere three months of breastfeeding. I was a chubby baby, sporting numerous folds of baby flab which were just precious. My cheeks took over a majority of my face and my eyes squinted when I laughed to the point where you would nervously begin to question where they went and how soon they would be coming back. Eating was never a fight with me and by the time of my first check up the doctor went to pick me up and commented, puzzled that I was quite “dense” and wondered what I was eating. I was quite the energetic child and would bounce around in the little suspended duck that hung in the doorway of my kitchen for hours. My baby fat and I bounded through my house in a rambunctious frenzy without a care in the world. Little did I know that those cute rolls of fat were not a temporary condition, but would become a lifelong struggle.

In preschool I remember not noticing too much of a difference between me and the other kids, partly because I was less self-aware at the tender age of three but party because I had a bit of a growth spurt and was for the most part a normal weight. I do remember never feeling full. Wherever I went I was always aware of food and always wanted to secure the largest amount possible. During snack time they would hang up an adorable drawing of the food we would have and how many pieces we could take. They taught us how to count with 1,2,3 Fig Newmans. I would have my three and later sneakily return to pocket a few to eat in the bathroom because I was still hungry. I didn’t feel shame for my thievery but I did realize that what I was doing wasn’t allowed and that I shouldn’t advertise my actions. 

As I donned my fabulous multicolored unitard and bedazzled jeans for my first day of “big girl” school I was thrust into a world of comparing myself to others. This didn’t happen overnight, but gradually I noticed how skinny and cute the other girls were and how they seemed favored in some situations. Food was still a big focus in my life and was never too far from my mind. I was never one to skip breakfast and my mother was never one to serve unhealthy breakfasts. For me it was about quantity, why have one piece of toast when you can have two? Then at lunch time I perfected the art of either buying snacks to supplement a lunch from home, trading food with unsuspecting peers, or simply buying hot lunch. 

To be continued...